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By the way!

I thought I would never write something like that, but who does not change their mind, is an idiot.

I met a girl in a club.

We introduced ourselves and to my question, where are you from? She said the USA.

I hugged her for five minutes. She did not understand of course why I was hugging her. I believe she was uncomfortable with my hug but I was extremely happy. I was not just hugging her, but all the American people.

I started to sing their Anthem. Come on dude, you won so many Olympic Games that how could anyone not memorize all the words after a billion times of listening it.

While I was hugging her, I started to ask her a billion questions: “ why are you here?; “are you seriously from USA?”; “why, in the world are you living here?”; “ I got it, you are a hostage?”; “would you like a ride to the airport?”.

She was looking at me like I was crazy and moved very far away!

After a little bit of time she came back over, asking why I was so proud of her own country.

First of all, it is not just your country.

I left part of my heart there and so it is mine too and my sister in law is American. Plus I am going to have a niece who will be American too. So USA is my country as well!

Then, it is true your country is a nice place where you can live, even with all its contradictions.

Don’t take me wrong, I would not like to have my kids growing up there but you can easily make a great life there.

She did not get the contradictions part, so I found myself explaining what I meant.

People are friendly, well fake friendly, but still friendly. A fake friendship is still friendship.Right?

When I was moving from my apartment, I spent hours in the elevator, coming down and up because everybody was calling the elevator a second before I was going to press the bottom for my floor. I met a lot of people who was smiling at me, asking “how are you?”, and just one second before I was going to reply, they were already 300 feet far away from me. When I met the last person who was going to the same floor as well as mine, and he asked me the same question, I looked at him like “ hell no! I am not going to reply! That’s it! Go to the hell”. He stayed in front of me for minutes, thinking I was deaf and he used the language sign!

“Geez, the only one who really wants to have an answer from me!” I thought!

I looked at him, smiling and say ok with my hands.

The elevator stopped at my floor, he got out and I went one floor up. I was to ashamed to follow him.

Well! And then you have all this things with the procedures! She looked at me and ask “what do you mean?”

I tried to explain to her that the only country in which the procedures are applied to is the USA.

Italians think just outside the box.

We read the procedures just to understand what we can do to avoid to respect the rule.

This means, if it is says to stay in the line, we will draw our own line. An American would say “what are you doing?” And we will reply that their procedure does not say that we cannot draw our own line. That’s it! Outside the box! So they think it is smart but then they won’t do it because it is not written on your instruction book!

This is the reason why I got a fine. There was a lot of traffic, and I cut off from the parking lot to skip the traffic light. The police man pulled out my car and told me I was a kind of a criminal. I explained to him, I was avoiding that people would have to to be stuck behind my car, so I used the parking lot to avoid the traffic growing even more. He told me that it could be smart to avoid the traffic and he should have been proud of me, but he still gave me a fine of $200. I still think I was right!

I was accused of be racist because I could not remember all the names of the billion people over there. So I used to call people by nationality.

I used to say “ go to the Mexican, who will be able to assist you!” That’s racist, I was told! “Ok, so go to the lady who has dark skin!” “ do you mean she is Black?” “ no, I meant what i said. She has darker skin”. That’s so racist!

And then, one day one of my coworkers asked me if I want to play to the lottery. I was thrilled about it and he told me that in case of winning I was not able to receive the money because I was Italian. Here you go! Holy shit… that’s so racist! So you call me racist all this time and then I cannot win the lottery because I am Italian?

The same way, when a person was not able to speak a good English, my coworkers were calling me to talk with him because of course the person was Italian. That was racist… not all the Italians cannot speak a good English! And I found myself speaking with Africans, Spanish and so on and yelled at my coworkers that a person who speaks a bad English could be from anywhere outside of the USA.

The worst contradiction is having Trump as a president. Well! You know, I should not say anything because we had Berlusconi as a president but I never voted for him, and now Salvini is trying to be Trump the revenge. But Trump is the bad copy of both Italian politicians. As an outsider of your country, I truly believed in your power, to have a president who is in charge to look at the world and not just his own garden. You hurt me so deep that I think I would never forgiven you! A country in which the majority of the people are not originally American, wants just first-born Americans living there. You will basically have a country with very few people living there because the real Americans can be counted on the fingers of one hand, no more.

I kept going on telling her what I still do find weird about the USA, but I did not mean to point my finger on it.

I really think that this is a country in which anyone can be who they want to be, without exaggerating your prospectives. I would have loved to be a model of Victoria’s Secret but also in USA, there was no way to let me grow my boobs and have a nice butt. So let’s go for doing whatever you want but knowing your limit and the USA will fit in your life!

My new American friend got me! She looked at me and said that she agreed.

So I turned one more time and asked her “ can I hug you, again?” She looked at me again and said: “not at all! I am like the other Americans, a fake friend! So we can just shake hands”



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